That Should Be Me
by briewinchester88
Summary: Sam has always been in love with his brother. Unfortunately for him, Dean only has eyes for a certain blue-eyed Angel. The inspiration for this fic is the song 'That Should Be Me' by Justin Bieber ft. Rascal Flatts. Warnings: Angst and Character Death.


Well, this is a Destiel with a one-sided Wincest fic.

The title is from the song 'That Should Be Me' by Justin Bieber ft. Rascal Flatts

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That Should Be Me

Sam should've known that Dean would never feel the same about him as he does. That didn't mean it didn't hurt any less. Sam still caught himself staring at his brother with longing in his eyes. It started to get worse when they found Castiel. Dean was so happy and Sam became that much more depressed. Lucifer wasn't helping much either. Sam's heart broke a little more whenever he saw his brother and angel lazily making out on the bed or heard them at night while they made love. He slipped into a deep depression. He would not get out of bed; he wouldn't eat. He just lay in bed, cocooned under the blankets, curled into a ball, hugging a pillow. Silent tears would fall down his face and he would drown his sorrows in a bottle of Jack. He started getting his own room so he wouldn't torture himself any longer, but Lucifer would tell him what was going on next door.

Sam would dream that Dean was the one kissing him, making love to him, not Cas. Then he would wake up and the crying and drinking would start. His motel room would always be littered with Jack Daniels bottles. After one particularly nasty hangover, Sam caught his reflection in the mirror. His hair was greasy, his skin was pale and clammy, there were dark circles under his eyes, and he could start to see his ribs. Lucifer popped up behind him, "You look like crap kiddo." Sam huffed and went back to bed and his bottle of Jack. Lucifer followed him and stood far away, "And you could use a shower. You reek." Sam glared daggers at him and went back to drinking. He stopped hunting. He couldn't stand to watch his brother and angel make bedroom eyes at the other; it was just too much. Sam was not proud of the way he made money, but it paid for the motels and the booze. He would always find guys that looked just like his brother. He would bring them back to his room and let them fuck him.

He hasn't seen his brother in months and that's the way he likes it. The only company he has is Lucifer. They have some pretty interesting conversations, when he feels like talking. Sam is a shell of his former self. He used to be upbeat, friendly, sweet. Now he's miserable, heartbroken, depressed, angry, and a whore. Sam was burrowed under the covers and Lucifer was sitting behind him. Lucifer tucked Sam's hair behind his ear, "Sammy, why don't you just end it? You're obviously not happy. He doesn't even know you exist anymore, now that he has my brother. He's better off without you." Sam was crying while listening to him. Lucifer was right. Dean didn't want him or need him. Sam's ear caught the song he kept playing on repeat and started crying even harder.

"_That should be me holding your hand_

_That should be me making you laugh_

_That should be me, this is so sad_

_That should be me, that should be me_

_That should be me feeling your kiss_

_That should be me buying you gifts_

_This is so wrong, I can't go on_

_Til you believe that that should be me_

_That should be me". _

Sam got out of bed and went over to his bag and pulled out his gun. He placed it on the table and grabbed his cell phone. He dialed Dean's number and prayed that he got the voicemail. He sighed with relief, "Hey Dean, its Sam. Uh, I was just calling to let you know that I love you and I want you to be happy and that you're safe. Good-bye Dean." He picked up the gun and put it underneath his chin and pulled the trigger. Lucifer was grinning like a loon when Sam opened his eyes, "Welcome home Sam, I missed you."

"_It's getting harder to shield this pain in my heart"_

Two days later…

Dean looked at his phone and saw that he had a voicemail from Sam. He played it, "_Hey Dean, its Sam. Uh, I was just calling to let you know that I love you and I want you to be happy and that you're safe. Good-bye Dean." _Dean immediately fell to his knees and started crying when he heard the gunshot in the background. He couldn't believe his brother was gone. He didn't know how to live without him. Cas left him a while ago because all he could think about was Sam. Now, Sam was gone and he had no one left. He pulled out his own gun and pulled the trigger, hoping to join his brother wherever he may be. When Dean opened his eyes, he was greeted by Lucifer's grinning face, "Well, well, well, what do we have here? Look Sammy, your big brother has come to play."

"_Never should've let you go  
I never should've let you go  
That should be me  
Never should've let you go  
That should be me_

_Never should've let you go  
Never should've let you go  
That should be me"_


End file.
